Welcome To Student Muffin
A new internet-based comedy programme
Something Wasted This Way Comes…
English Dictionary Definition:
Student [styood’nt]
- Person studying – someone who studies at school, college, or university
- Knowledgeable or interested person – somebody who has studied or takes much interest in a particular subject
Student Muffin Definition:
Student [stew’dant]
- Piss artist – someone who excels at inactivity, alcohol consumption and borderline self destruction
- Serial day dreamer – somebody who is capable of staring out of windows, reading the dustcovers of books and doodling on a mass scale for hours on end.
MAX: I am a student at the University of Life.
CLAPTON: Really? Well you’re failing you degree miserably. And you’re banned from campus. And don’t even think about going in the SU bar, your money’s not worth shit.
I only have two questions for you.
- Have you ever woken up drunk?
- Have you ever looked at your friends and seriously questioned both their mental and emotional health?
If the answer to both these questions is a definite yes, then congrats! Because you now have all the qualifications you need to enter and survive the world of Student Muffin. A six part internet comedy series produced by Dirty Soap Productions, Muffin looks at the day-to-day existences of five students, all living in a tiny bizarre country village town called Ormskirk, and how they not only battle with the woes of full time education, but how they battle with reality itself. We will accompany them through every aspect of their days no matter how ridiculous, redundant, drunk or disgusting it may be, and take a wide eyed look at how a bunch of twenty-something borderline children deal with everything the world throws at them. Quite literally at times.
Taking its cues from programmes such as Spaced, Black Books, The Imbetweeners, The Mighty Boosh and Peep Show, and direction from films such as Withnail & I, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, Human Traffic and Jane Austen’s Emma, Student Muffin revels in a apathetic hangover drenched world, where there’s always something pointless to do and someone even more pointless to insult. It’s also a totally independent production, filmed entirely in the North West and made by media virgins taking their first steps into a larger, smut filled world…
But Muffin isn’t just big on the laughs. No, no. It’s a giant melting pot of fantasy, horror, sci-fi, drama, action, noir, romance, and even a pinch of melodrama for good measure, and only one thing is for sure; Student Muffin will make all of those who are students hang their heads and giggle, and all those who’ve been students sigh happily because those dreadful marvellous times are long since passed.
ALEX: You can’t put a price on happiness Jane,
JANE: Yeah, but if you could it’d probably be around fifteen quid. Maybe fourteen with a voucher.
And Who, Pray Tell, Are You?
The Cast
Clapton Pertwee (Dean Mason)
If the family of Student Muffin was divided up into body parts, Clapton would definitely be the mouth piece. With wits of pure steel and a venom soaked tongue to match, Clapton is a man whose talents lie in insults. He can strip a man bare with a sentence, and is more than ready to rip the world to pieces with just a few words. Frustrated with living in a ‘shithole’ and sharing it with a ‘bunch of cocksocks’ he spends his days barely holding onto his next punch line and attempting to keep what’s left of his patience. Not against a glass of Port or a large Crème de Menthe now and again, he does seem to enjoy the group’s social activities. If only to watch fellow boozer Max make a complete tit of himself.
Max Baker (Rob Dormer)
Ahh Max. Where to begin? Well, probably at the bottom of a Jagermeister bottle. A loveable rogue who loves a tipple, Max is the stumbling legs of the Muffin family. Periodically intoxicated and annually hung-over, he takes his student lifestyle by the short and curlies and gives it hell. Also giving his liver one hell of a battering in the process. He will literally drink anything, and that includes his own bodily fluids. A good friend and an honest man, unfortunately he is never likely to be able to finish a sentence without slurring at least four words. Constantly undermined by Clapton, and looked after by the rest of the gang, he’ll be the first in the bar and the first on the floor.
Jane Tennant (Rachel Mason)
The only female in the group, at least from an anatomical standpoint, and the only one who is totally incapable of prolonged movement. Her armchair is her castle, and she intends to spend as much time in it as possible, and that makes her the arse of Muffin. The youngest of the bunch, forever clad in her customary black dressing gown, she’s a girl who doesn’t see the point in exercise or even getting up if there’s something decent on TV. Jeremy Kyle will never go without a viewer as long as Jane’s around, with a packet of crisps in one hand and half empty bottle of Lambrini in the other. The term couch potato doesn’t even begin to cover it. At least potatoes grow. Try couch rock.
Alex McCoy (Tom Critch)
If Alex were a colour he’d be orange; daft, funny to look at, and just that little bit stupid. A veracious abuser of cheap red wine and even cheaper pornography, he’s the hands of Student Muffin, never sitting still and constantly fiddling. With himself, most of the time. A lover of women and a fan of the odd flutter, he has absolutely no idea how the world works and yet is happy to sit back and grin at it. Capable of charm, sincerity and wisdom, he prefers to sod all that bollocks and go down the pub to try and chat someone up. Enjoys the company of the gang, the madness of their shared existence, and is even capable of putting up with Clapton’s insults.
George Davison (Rob Dean)
A never ending church steeple of a man, George towers above all the others in many respects. He Hoovers up all the fantasy fiction he can get his hands on, never shies away from throwing himself into absurd situations. Oh, and he can even play the glockenspiel. For that reason George is the face of Student Muffin, with an open set of eyes and a dependable series of expression. Claims to be a wizard of the highest order, has the dubious ability of being able to see the world just that little bit askew, and can wander through this life without ever caring how he looks or what the ‘normal’ people think of him. A downer of real ales, and an occasional wearer of pants, he loves to dance and couldn’t get any more laid back if he tried. Which he wouldn’t. Because he’s too laid back.
GEORGE: I sometimes think that one man could change the world. Honestly. I think if one man could stand tall, walk the path we dare not tread and set the example for all of us, then the whole world could change. Forever.
JANE: Well why don’t you do it then?
GEORGE: I wasn’t talking about me. I was talking about one man.
Written by Rob Dean and Tom Critch, starring a cast of amateurs and directed by up-and-coming visionary Kyle Ogden, Student Muffin is a sideways look at that special time in a person’s life when they’re as close to being a rock star as regular mortals get. When life is a mad vortex of work, play, socks, booze, sex, Tekken and ever impending doom.
Over our six episode stay with the gang we’ll dive head first into ridiculous conversations, questionable education, disastrous house parties, awkward one night stands, embarrassing amateur theatre, heavy gambling, heavier drinking, phantom pregnancies, and even the End Of Days. So join us for the journey of a lifetime and the hangover of the century, as we follow George, Jane, Alex, Clapton and Max through the wonders of university life. You never know, you might just like it.
Student Muffin… Coming Soon to an internet terminal near you…
Keep checking the official Student Muffin website for trailers, updates, pics, behind the scenes snippets and anything Muffin related.
Find us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/STUDENT-MUFFIN/348710041970
Nice article mate. I’ll be checking this out