Grand Theft Auto IV: Ballad of Gay Tony

Slip on your sparkly pink disco pants

Every time I return to Liberty City, I feel like it’s become a second home over the last couple of years

Each delicious portion of DLC for Grand Theft Auto IV packs a game-sized punch set in those familiar surroundings, but I’ll still be a little sad to see the series move on with the next episode.

You’ve got to admire Rockstar’s pluck though.  Calling the latest tale from Liberty City “The Ballad of Gay Tony” raised a few eyebrows amongst the prim and proper, but surprisingly didn’t really raise much more than a murmur from the red tops.  Good on ‘em for not relenting and calling the thing “The Ballad of Luis Lopez”, the character you play in this.

Unlike previous characters we’ve slid under the skin of in Grand Theft Auto IV, Luis is a slightly odd, measured sort of guy, but a complete sex maniac psycho killer nonetheless.  He goes about the various missions in this like a Hispanic killer robot, barely betraying any emotion or expressing any problem with what he does.  Fortunate then that in virtually every minute of the game, he’s either on a suicide mission or undertaking something so ludicrously over the top you’ll wonder how he (and you) are going to pull it off.

Luis’ boss, Tony Prince, is the titular Gay Tony, a suave debonair homosexual pill popper you’ll feel like popping a bullet between the eyes of as he lurches from one bad decision to another, putting his (and Luis’) club empire at stake at every turn.

As you’d expect from the Grand Theft Auto series, the pair come into contact with various grubby little nefarious underworld villains as well as big gangster bosses intent on shutting them down.  There are allies too, and missions undertaken with two of the friendlier characters, Yusuf (an oil sheikh’s western-culture-obsessed son) and Mori (the older sibling of Brucie from the first GTA IV episode) are the best in the game.
Though Rockstar is an old hand at putting together a decent storyline, there’s not much plot this time round and it feels more like a roll-up package giving you the best type of action from the previous two episodes, spiced up with a lot of chopper action (in more ways than one).

Luis is an expert pilot and a hit with the ladies, and you’ll get to use both of these particular talents throughout the game. The much talked about sexual content you’re rewarded with after an easy-peasy rhythm action game is pretty much the standard “watching a loo door bang, or an apartment window going up and down” type stuff for the most part, but there are a couple of scenes that are a little near the knuckle. Don’t worry though they’re not going to offend you unless you’re a little hypersensitive about watching game avatars clashing polygons.

The aerial missions are excellent though.  In addition to a new combat chopper, “the buzzard”, you’ll also get to use your freefall and base jumping skills with the welcome return of the parachute to the GTA universe.  Secondary minigame missions allow you to scale the heights of Liberty City’s tallest buildings and attempt to skydive accurately onto targets or moving vehicles.  It’s a lot trickier than it sounds but there’s a handy achievement if you nail them all.

In addition, you can also indulge in a little extreme cage fighting if you’re short on cash.  For someone as handy with their fists as Luis, it’s a breeze to pick up some pocket money in this way.
Though this chunk of DLC feels slightly shorter and a lot easier than previous episodes, the game neatly rejigs the way each mission works, with set targets to achieve as well as the overall mission itself.  Nailing all of the targets per mission is challenging enough to make you want to replay and perfect them.  Once you’ve completed the game you can go back and do this at will.

New weapons and vehicles have been crammed into the DLC, and the new guns are all devastatingly powerful. The best of the bunch is a combat shotgun with exploding shells, which can destroy pretty much anything, human or otherwise, with a couple of shots.  Keep that baby topped up and you’ll find any shooting missions as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.

As this tale from Liberty City draws to a close, you’ll find it impossible not to wear a big old grin on your face, particularly as the end credits roll.  For 1600 points, fans of the series won’t be disappointed but those who found GTA IV a little empty and lacking might not be won over by it.  Suffice to say I loved every single moment, and can’t wait to see what happens next March when Rockstar has teasingly revealed that we’ll find out what’s next, and more importantly WHERE is next for the GTA universe.  Rest assured though, I’ll be there at launch day demanding my copy just as I have done with every iteration of GTA to date.

Rockstar has once again shown developers exactly how they should be doing downloadable episodes: plenty of content, lots of new stuff, and good enough to keep fans happy till 2010.